A:
You enjoying your newfound freedom, man?
B:
Haha, I guess so. I stayed up way too late playing Batman on Tuesday, and I've had pizza for dinner every night this week. So I guess I'm either a recently divorced 28 year old man or a fifteen year kid who's parents are out of town for the week, haha. And I haven't been to the gym in forever, it's getting bad. But yeah, nothing too crazy obviously.
A:
Why is that obvious?
B:
Well, it's not like I'm going to go nuts and buy a car, or a... hooker, or whatever you're supposed to buy.
A:
You should, you should get a prostitute.
B:
Yeah, well, clearly, I'm not going to do that.
A:
Have you gotten laid yet?
B:
Heh, no. But I'm working on it!
A:
You should bang Amy.
B:
I'm not going to sleep with Amy.
A:
You totally could.
B:
Yeah, I'm sure, but I don't know. ... I get the sense that it's probably good for her to have a male friend who's not sleeping with her, you know? I think that's sort of a new thing for her. I feel like I have to rep Good Dudes a little there.
A:
You're pathetic, you know that?
B:
Screw you.
A:
No, seriously. You've been cooped up for five? years.
B:
Eight, almost nine.
A:
Christ. Nine years. And now you're turning down sex. You're chicken.
B:
Look, I'm not going to sleep with her just to prove a point, or give myself +5 ego points or whatever. That's gross. I'd wake up at her place and think, "Great, you're just like all those other piece of shit guys that banged Amy cause she's hot. Way to go, self."
A:
You wouldn't feel like that.
B:
Yeah, I totally would.
A:
Have you ever done something like that before?
B:
No, and I like that. I want to keep it that way.
A:
That's what I'm saying though, you're just scared. You have no idea how'd you feel. You want to think that you'd feel like a piece of shit, but you don't know. Maybe you'd wake up without a single thought besides a mental high five to yourself. Maybe you'd tell her you love her just to see what she does. Maybe you wouldn't feel anything at all. You don't know, and you're afraid to find out.
B:
Look
A:
You have a huge opportunity here man, you're so lucky and you don't even know it, you can totally reboot your life. You can do anything you want to, and you're totally pussing out on the whole thing.
B:
But I like who I am, and who I was, I do. And besides, I'm not some Nietzschean straw man, I'm not going to use another person as a, as a stepstool on my climb to be the Ubermensch. That's horrible.
A:
Alright, we'll get rid of the other person. Let's do coke. You're rich now, give me two hundred bucks. I'll be back in a half hour. We'll do a ton of blow tonight, it'll be great.
B:
No way, you just want me to buy.
A:
We both know that's not true. I'll buy it. We'll meet at your place in a half hour, it'll be super fun. <stands up>
B:
Dude, I'm not... I'm not going to do coke.
A:
<sits back down>Exactly. And why not? What possible reason could you have for turning down free cocaine?
B:
I just don't want to.
A:
Who doesn't? The you of the last nine years, or the you now?
B:
They're the same person!
A:
That's what I'm saying! You should be embarrassed about that! That's a shame, that's a real honest to God shame. You're a total chicken shit.
B:
Hey, fuck you, I like who I am.
A:
You're just a prisoner who got pardoned, took two steps outside, and pitched his tent. Pathetic. Just pathetic.