A:
You know how there's a bunch of celiacs all of a sudden, right?
B:
People allergic to wheat gluten?
A:
Yeah.
B:
Well, "all of a sudden" is probably a weird way to characterize that, right?
A:
Numbers are definitely way, way up.
B:
But is that just like a reporting thing? Like, you know, we would've characterized a Pilgrim with celia as just having a bad stomach or whatever, but now we can diagnose it more specifically. Is that all it is?
A:
No, trust me dude, numbers are way up.
B:
Uh, ok. Sure. Is this going somewhere or...
A:
I've got this great theory here, insight really.
B:
Great.
A:
So, here it is. Someone's stomach starts hurting a lot, their intestines go south
B:
When they eat wheat gluten, because they're allergic to wheat gluten, yes.
A:
That part's irrelevant.
B:
It's super not.
A:
Regardless, someone's stomach starts hurting, they go to the doctor, doc says, "Yo dawg, you're allergic to wheat gluten", patient MAKES A CHOICE to stop eating wheat gluten, they get better. They're cured. Anything about that smell weird to you?
B:
No, not at all. But I can tell by the way that you yelled "makes a choice" that it smells weird to you.
A:
Exactly! What if these people aren't allergic to wheat gluten at all, but rather
B:
Allergic to making decisions?
A:
No, allergic to NOT making decisions
B:
Oh right
A:
Yeah, we all are! We're the only animal that can make a genuine conscious decision, and we almost never do! And so-called celiacs, especially, it seems, don't make decisions in their day-to-day life, and whatever shred of genuine humanity they have sputtering away in their darkened and airless hearts rebels, and it tries to strong arm them into making a real decision. What was the last decision you made?
B:
Uhhh, I went to Burrito Beach instead of Potbelly's with everyone else.
A:
Great, why did you do that?
B:
I had Potbelly's last night.
A:
So you actually thought, "I had Potbelly's last night, I'll CHOOSE something else?"
B:
Well, no, it just didn't sound very good, but that's because I had it last night.
A:
Exactly! You're just retconning your own subconscious process there! You just choose the place that would satisfy your own stupid, unthinking, animal hunger most effectively! You didn't choose!
B:
And... that's me. Peace!
A:
You can choose what to eat! You can choose how to spend your money! You can choose whom to love! Choose! Make a choice, be conscious! It's our birthright!