A:
Well, we've talked about this before, but one of the big advantages of getting married
B:
Of which there are many!
A:
sure, for sure. But one of them is that you get a nice shorthand for your relationship, you know? I can say "my wife" and you sort of know what's going on there. It's a lot more convenient than "My girlfriend, who I have been dating for eight years and lived with for the past five"
B:
"Whom".
A:
What?
B:
I think it's "whom", not "who". "Whom I've been dating."
A:
Oh, well, regardless. There's no shorthand for this, you know? Or rather, there is shorthand but it's all misleading, I can talk to somebody, like, "Oh, my wife Beth", "Oh, you have a wife? I'd love to meet her!", "Well, she's actually living in Connecticut right now", "Oh, you're split up?", "Well, sort of, but", "So you're separated?", "Well, technically, but", "You two parted ways?", "I mean, not really", "She moved out?", "Well, when you put it like that", "So she left you?", "Well, I guess we sort of left each other, but really it's more..." I hate it, it drives me crazy.
B:
It seems like many phrases that are referring to emotional separation are metaphors grounded in physical separation.
A:
... yeah. I don't like it! And I don't think they really apply anymore, or they can but they don't have to, with Skype and planes and email and IM and texting and everything.
B:
Well, when Mary and I did this
A:
You guys split up or lived apart or ?
B:
Yeah, haha, whatever you want to call it. It was years ago now, and we were only apart for nine months, so it's a little easier than it was for you. Although it was only supposed to be six months, and those last three were pretty hard. She finished up before I did, and we both had jobs lined up in San Francisco, so she went ahead and moved out and started paying down her loans while I was writing and getting a couple more papers out.
A:
Yeah, exactly! See, that's a totally reasonable thing to do! That makes perfect sense.
B:
I think it was the right decision, looking back. And it was easy for her, she got to tell everyone that I was "finishing up and writing", and everyone sort of got that, and that I would be coming out soon.
A:
Sure.
B:
And for her, I finally settled on saying that she was "In California, working".
A:
Ok.
B:
I thought it nicely evoked a parent in the olden days going off to Kansas to lay railroad track or farm, and sending money back home.
A:
Sure. Noble.
B:
Yeah, exactly. And I thought, and I guess I still do really, that "In California, working" sounds much better than "Working in California". I don't know why. So I always told people "She is out in California, working, and I'll be out there soon once I finish up here."