A:
I told you I've been using a neti pot right?
B:
That's the thing that you stick up your nose and pour water around?
A:
Yep, that's it.
B:
How do you like it?
A:
Pretty well. It's not a real great feeling or anything, but a few minutes after you do it, your sinuses are totally clear, which is really neat. And I think it's helped with my allergies, but that could just be psychosomatic.
B:
Sure. That's interesting, maybe I'll try one in the fall, that's when I get allergies.
A:
Yeah, using it makes me want to make a super one somehow.
B:
Like what?
A:
Well, it would be a thing you put over your whole face, and it would just flood all your sinus cavities with water
B:
That's what a neti pot does right?
A:
Well, sort of, but it turns out the water doesn't have to travel very far to get from one nostril to the other. This would use positive pressure, and seriously just flood every inch of your sinus cavities, like right up to your eardrums and everything. You would have water being pumped into your nose, and just rushing out your mouth.
B:
That sounds awful, that sounds like your whole head would be a fountain.
A:
No way dude, it would clean everything! It would clear out your earwax and everything.
B:
I don't think so. Earwax is outside your eardrum and everything, I don't think your sinus cavity connects there.
A:
I'm pretty sure it does. Regardless, the machine would run for a while, and then reverse, and just suck all the water out. And then a heater would kick in, and evaporate any moisture left inside your face.
B:
But
A:
Just think about it! Your sinus cavity would be bone dry! Doesn't that sound just super clean and awesome?
B:
No, it sounds like a terrible idea. You need some moisture in there.
A:
No, you don't.
B:
Yeah, you totally do. That's what mucus membranes and all that stuff are for. I shouldn't be able to blow air up your nose and have it come out your ears, that has to be really bad for you.
A:
No, it's seriously not.
B:
What are you basing this on? You sound like an eight-year old, "I wish there were no mosquitos! I wish they all disappeared right now!" The kid doesn't know that would totally screw up ecosystems and everything. It's not like mosquitos can all just disappear, and the only effect is "No more skeeter bites, hooray!" You can't just sucks out every drop of moisture from your face and the only outcome is "Hooray, my nose isn't stuffed up anymore! And I also get to satisfy this misplaced obsession with cleanliness that associates moisture with Uncleanness! Because you know, moisture isn't an important part of keeping the body working or anything! It's not there for any useful reason at all!"
A:
Dude, it would be fine. Believe me.
B:
Based on what?! Why would I believe you, you have no idea what you're talking about!
A:
I have a sinus cavity! I get to have an opinion about it! I have a stake in this conversation, so I get an opinion! You can't deny me my opinion!
B:
Woah. Where is this coming from?
A:
I'm sorry, I got hounded by Mark last night at Nevin's about healthcare reform. It was clear that he had memorized about five facts, which I'm sure were totally wrong or disingenuous or whatever, from Hot Air, and I couldn't counter them, really, and I feel, I feel like I let Obama down, you know? But healthcare affects me! I get to have an opinion!
B:
I mean, ok. I understand that. ... You're not really going to try and suck all the moisture out of your face, are you? Because, seriously, that is super unhea
A:
I know. I was just talking big.
B:
Ok, cool. Because it would totally open you up to all sorts of infections, and
A:
I get it!