A:
Now, I don't really know much about climate change, but it seems like
B:
Then don't talk about it.
A:
What?
B:
Don't talk about if you don't know anything.
A:
No, no, I think we'll agree.
B:
I'm sure we'll both have a vaguely left-leaning take on it, but seriously, if you don't know anything, there's nothing to talk about. I don't know anything, either, let's not have two ignorant dopes discussing climate change. Let's spare the world that conversation.
A:
It'll be short, I promise.
B:
Gah. Fine, go. Be quick.
A:
Ok, well it seems like all the Republicans and everybody is on board with the fact that climate change is happening, but the kind of sticking point is whether or not we're causing it, right?
B:
Sure.
A:
Or, at least, that's the FIG LEAF they're using. But, it seems to me, that that doesn't really matter, you know? Like, we should try and stop it REGARDLESS.
B:
Fine.
A:
Like, if an earthquake was going to sink California, and it was just a normal, natural occurrence, and Democrats wanted to stop it, the Republicans wouldn't say, "It's not a manmade earthquake, let's just leave it" would they?
B:
I can't imagine it's that simple. But ok.
A:
Or maybe they WOULD, because then they would finally be free of Hollywood and San Francisco! Ha ha ha.
B:
Are we done here?
A:
Well, there's one more.
B:
Oh my
A:
The other thing Republicans always say is that it's too expensive, you know what I mean?
B:
Ok.
A:
But, to my mind at least, and like I said, I don't know too much about it
B:
Just get to it.
A:
Well, it seems like that money is going to be spent anyway, you know? I mean, we'll have to invest a lot of money in green technology to combat global warming, but we're investing a lot of money now in non-green technology. Let's just move that over.
B:
Fine.
A:
It's not like we're trying to fight global warming by burning money or shooting gold into the sun. I think you'll find
B:
Not me, I have no stake in this at all.
A:
Well, then I think THEY'LL find, that if you factor in the amount of money saved in traditional, non-green investments, then moving everything over to green technology will cost exactly ZERO DOLLARS. It has to! It's a zero-sum game!
B:
That can't be right.
A:
Well, what's wrong with it?
B:
I don't care!