Overheard

A: I'll tell you, Santa. I want an ominous creaking to occur simultaneously at ever Post Office in the land. I want the creaking to get louder, and for the whole building to begin to shudder. I want cracks to appear in the walls, and small bits of plaster to fall from the ceiling. I want everyone to escape from the buildings, while signage shakes and falls. And then I want the ground to open up into a huge hole, and each Post Office from sea to shining sea falls into the Earth, never to be seen again. And then I want Jesus to appear, and I want Him to say, "You're all welcome, folks, you'll never have to deal with the Post Office again" and then vanish.

A: I had a lot of time to think about it, Santa.

A: I was stuck in a long line at the Post Office, Santa! Was that not clear? I thought it was really obvious that I was venting about my recent Post Office experience. Huh. I'm really surprised that that didn't come through.