A:
You know that kind of flirty thing we do where we bite our lower lip and look vulnerable?
B:
Sure. It drives Matt crazy when I do that, haha.
A:
Yeah, I remember you telling me that! So I've been trying to do it, and I'm ashamed to admit, practicing it in the mirror.
B:
Haha, amateur.
A:
I know! And here's the thing! I couldn't get it to work, like at all.
B:
What is there not to work?
A:
That's what I said! It was driving me crazy, but I was too embarrassed to ask someone what I was doing wrong.
B:
Sure.
A:
So, Saturday, we all go to Sheffield's, and there's this really cute bartender, right? And I kept trying to get his attention, and Susan and everybody were ready to go, so I just said: Screw it. And I looked him right in the eyes, and tried the lip-biting thing!
B:
And?
A:
It totally worked! He asked for my number right then, Boom.
B:
Nice! What was the difference?
A:
That's the question, right? So I go home, thinking I must have it mastered, right? So I pop in an It's Always Sunny, and I'm finish brushing my teeth, and I try it again in the mirror.
B:
Victory lap, sure.
A:
But it doesn't work, again! Total failure.
B:
Maybe you just can't flirt with yourself, haha.
A:
No, it was really clear that THAT was not the flirt that got the bartender. So I go to bed, despondent, thinking it's gone for good.
B:
Do you have to be drinking to pull it off?
A:
Nope, but that's not a bad guess. But I did finally figure it out! I'm trying to sleep, tossing and turning, trying to figure out the difference, and suddenly it hits me! It's not just biting your lip, you also have to look down and to the side demurely! You can't watch yourself do it!
B:
The very act of watching yourself perform the expression nullifies it!
A:
Exactly! It's a Heisenburg Flirtation!