A:
Did I tell you Paul got engaged?
B:
No, you didn't, good for him! Her name's Jennifer right?
A:
Yeah, yeah. He met her on Match.com, believe it or not.
B:
Haha, right on. I didn't know that.
A:
Yeah, he's all fired up about it, called me the night he proposed and everything.
B:
Aww. Yeah, he was all about her when I talked to him last Christmas.
A:
Yeah, definitely. Do you think we'll ever get to the point where we don't make note of when people get together through an online dating site?
B:
I assume so. I mean, way back, I assume it was mentioned whenever people didn't get married through an arranged marriage or something.
A:
Way way back.
B:
Well, you know
C:
We're all thinking it! Will we ever get to the point where we don't mention anything when it's a mixed race marriage?
B:
Uh... I think we're at that point now. I mean, us non-racists at least.
C:
Not in a bad way or anything!
B:
How is it not in a bad way?
C:
You mean you wouldn't have mentioned anything if Jennifer was black?
A:
Well... I mean, I probably would've, but that's just because Paul is total white-bread. Not in a bad way, of course.
C:
Exactly.
B:
So you wouldn't have said anything if John got engaged to a black woman?
A:
No? He's black, though.
C:
Exactly! And you might not have mentioned the Match.com if Paul were older! Because then it would be less interesting or surprising!
B:
So, you're saying that when you announce a friend's engagement, you focus on the details that are unusual
C:
Only on the details that are unusual or surprising RELATIVE TO THE FRIEND BEING DISCUSSED. So you would always mention her height when a friend marries an 8 foot tall woman, but only because that's unusual relative to everyone! But you WOULDN'T always mention when a fiance was in the Army or something, unless your friend is a noted pacifist!
A:
Guys, guys. It goes deeper. The only reason I mentioned Paul's engagement at all is because THE EVENT ITSELF IS UNUSUAL OR UNEXPECTED RELATIVE TO WHAT YOU WOULD EXPECT! If I were a wedding planner, though, I wouldn't mention when a client got engaged, because it wouldn't be surprising! Noting things that are unexpected relative to the local norm doesn't just govern what's mentioned when a friend gets married, it governs all conversation!
B:
A general theory of conversational topics!
C:
!
B:
!
A:
!