A:
I'm thinking about getting contacts.
B:
Oh yeah? Something you might want to try instead is jam a finger in your eye a few hundred times and light three hundred dollars on fire. Save you a trip to the eye doctor.
A:
That bad, huh?
B:
A good way to simulate contacts while still wearing glasses is to modify them so that they constantly eat money and require a small bag of peripherals if you want to go on a trip, say. You should also mess up the prescription by 10-15%, and modify them so that they constantly blow a dry, irritating wind in your eyes.